Unacknowledged Privileges

It was a very hot afternoon (34 deg C) and it was not even Summer yet. One of our labourers’ daughter, Kausalya (20), was going to see an OBGYN doctor. She was expecting her second baby any day and a junior doctor had got her worried in the morning by saying that there was “too much water in the sac”. When I came to know about the absurdity of this remark, I decided to go with her to see the OBGYN.

The nearby Government Hospital was situated in a brand new building. The waiting room had over thirty people when we got there. There were two ceiling fans spinning at full speed. The moment I stepped into that area, I felt hotter than when I was outside. That was bizarre. I looked around to find four glass windows, spanning 5’, all tightly shut. I rushed there, struggled a bit (since they were not the usual kind) and opened all the windows. There was a sudden perceptible drop in the temperature inside and I noticed people turning their heads toward the windows. I just couldn’t believe that it didn’t occur to even one of those waiting women to open the windows earlier.

Later when I came home and shared this with Dev, he surprised me with his insight: “Hema! You are not acknowledging your privileges that have enabled you to open those windows.” That got me thinking. 

Going back to the waiting room:

As I was waiting, I couldn’t help but watch a young girl who seemed to be ready to deliver any minute. She certainly was very poor, malnourished and nervous about being there. I was getting curious to know more about her and so approached her:

I: “My name is Hema. What’s your name?”

She: “Kanniamma” (means ‘virgin lady’)

I: “How old are you?”

She: “15”

I: “You are very young! What’s your due date?”

She: “April 4^th”

I: “When did you get married?”

She: “Two days ago”

I: “Really? Just two days ago??”

She: “No! Two years ago”

I realized at this point that I had got her nervous. So to ease her into further conversation, I started telling her about myself – my age, my family, my kids, my natural childbirth experience etc. I could see that she was getting a wee bit comfortable talking to me. I decided to grab the opportunity and asked her, “Kanniamma! Can you ask the doctor how you can postpone having your second baby?”

Her perplexed look told me that there were so many things fundamentally wrong with my question. May be, babies were Godsend in her village! And even if they were not, how can SHE, an illiterate poor kid, pose a question to the DOCTOR!!

Most of the women waiting there for their second deliveries had a 12-18 month older toddler. During the half hour wait, I saw that these little toddlers were constantly getting yelled at, spanked and mistreated by the exhausted pregnant moms. So I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to try again and talk to Kanniamma about why she should not have another baby right away. I went very slow and kept it interactive. Once I thought that she had got it, I tried role play. I asked her to consider me as the doctor and requested her to ask me that question (about the second pregnancy). She just froze there and couldn’t say a word.

I didn’t have enough time to pursue this conversation because I had to accompany the girl I came with. I know that she would not have asked the doctor that important question and also that she is very likely to visit the same office soon for her second one.

-- Hema