I was invited to the coming-of-age ceremony of a thirteen
year old girl in the neighbourhood. These ceremonies have made me queasy while
growing up. But as it is mostly obligatory in the village to show up at such
social occasions, I decided to go. I didn’t know what exactly this occasion would
entail since each community and caste has different customs.
This was an old ancestral house. The old-style houses are wall-to-wall,
narrow and long with pitched and tiled roofs. The weavers’ lifestyle and
machines have determined the layout of these houses. Each house has a sheltered
sitting area facing the street. Behind the sitting area are rooms on either
side of a corridor that opens into a courtyard. Beyond the courtyard are the
kitchen and a large space for the looms.
When I entered the house I noticed that this was a married-women-only
party. After a short while, at the auspicious hour, the girl was asked to sit
in the centre of the courtyard. There was a worried, nervous look on her face.
Just as she was about to sit down a few women asked her to get rid of her
clothes. The girl clearly didn’t like this and tried hard to negotiate her way
out. She finally gave up and sat down unhappily in her underwear. She had
thick, long hair that she used to cover her front.
A barrel containing warm water infused with jasmine flowers
and turmeric was kept ready. The grandma of the girl dipped a mug into the
barrel and poured it on her head and inaugurated the ceremony. Opinion was
divided among the women if girls these days were as obedient as they once were.
Some women obviously didn’t like the fact that she wasn’t in the nude. Slowly
the rest of women started lining up to pour more water on her.
Suddenly a young lady, authoritative and aggressive, started
undressing the girl further. She protested, crying and begging but to no avail.
Her protestations were regarded mostly with much hilarity and the undressing
took place without further ado. Now desperately trying to hide her modesty, the
girl changed her position to a squat. As if to intensify the effect, another
woman jumped into the scene and tied up the girl’s hair, exposing her further.
The ritual bathing continued and they applied turmeric powder on her. By this
time I had had enough and decided to step away into the kitchen to help out
with serving food to the guests.
I asked a lady why the girl had to be naked. She said that
that was how they had always done it. A few minutes later when I took a peek
into the courtyard, the girl was all clad in a beautiful pink silk saree. Her
relatives were helping her with gold jewellery. I served tea and snacks and
left as soon as I could with a heavy heart.
-- Hema
