Learning By Doing (Part II) - Macrame with Cosmica

Macrame is a form of textile produced using knotting techniques.

Cosmica creates beautiful textile artworks using Macrame. I was blown away by the complexity of a wall-hanging she brought to the Homeschoolers' Conference last year. Here is her interview translated from Hindi:

*

Hi Cosmica! Tell us a bit about yourself.

C: I am 13 yrs old. I was born in Jamshedpur. We lived for long in Udaipur and for the last three years we have been back here in Jamshedpur. I live with my brother, parents, extended family of grandparents, aunt and uncle. There was a time when I got curious about school and went there for a month or two. I got to see what schools were about and didn't want to go there again. I am interested in learning at home. I love Macrame and I make things at home.

How did you get interested in Macrame?

C: My (cousin) brothers didn't like the rakhis that people bought from stores. So I wanted to make rakhis at home. I started making simple ones. Then I learned about basic knots by watching some videos on youtube. As I started exploring knots, I realized that there were a lot of possibilities -- wall- hangings, pot hangers, key chains. I wanted to make all these. Initially I knew nothing. As I worked on these I understood how knots work and I used this understanding to make things in my own way.

How many kinds of knots do you typically use in a wall-hanging project?

C: About 15 or 16 kinds of knots. Square knot and half-hitch knot are the two basic ones that are frequently used. I learned some more basic knots from youtube and as I was using them in my project, I came up with some new ones too.

Can you talk about your initial days with Macrame?

C: When I got to know about Macrame I absolutely loved it. I really really wanted to learn this craft. It was fascinating to see simple strings being used in this manner to make beautiful things. This kept me going. In about 3 or 4 months I got in to the flow of using knots to create artworks. As I gained confidence in my skills I started exploring advanced knots and more complex projects.

How long did your biggest Macrame project take?

C: It was a 3' X 4' wall-hanging which took about five days. Initially I had a lot of discussions with my parents about the design, the length of the string, the size of the project.

What do you do when things go wrong in your project?

C: Things do go wrong frequently. When I was new to Macrame, I was almost at the end of my work when I realized the knots didn't come out right and I had to unravel the entire work. It was very frustrating and I abandoned that work for many hours. After the break, when I got back to work with a fresh mind and with dad's help I was able to get over the hump. Also during my initial days I used to miscalculate the length of the string needed for a project. These mistakes have actually helped me learn how to go about executing a project from scratch. I didn't learn arithmetic in the conventional way. I learned arithmetic because I needed to calculate string length based on a  set of parameters. When we run short of string we of course can join two strings and camouflage the knot that is used to join the two strings. It is slightly complicated and it may not be aesthetically appealing.

Do you sell your creations?

C: Yes, I get orders online. I have sold puppets, wall-hangings, dream catchers etc.

How do you price them?

C: I take two things into account -- cost of the rope and the time I spent on making it. I take my parents' help in analyzing this and arriving at a price. For example, I just sold a pair of macrame puppets for Rs. 500. I am focused on my work now and  have not spent much time looking at the market.

Do you see people interested in Macrame in your neighborhood?

C: Yes, I have some neighbours interested in learn Macrame. Recently a neighbour has been coming home to learn from me. She also helps me in my projects.

Did you try looking for a teacher who you could learn from?

C: Not really. Most of the times, I have learned by myself. My dad has been my teacher whenever I needed one.

What does your dad do?

C: He paints, sketches and draws. He is a tattoo artist too. He is good at Origami. I normally seek his help. He helps me in analyzing a project before I embark on it.

What other interests do you have?

C: Before getting in to Macrame, I was interested in Origami. I used to design dresses. I am interested in sketching and painting too. I love to dance. I dance when I need a break. I love making gifts. I like to cook and help out my mom in the kitchen. I facilitate Gamethons in our neighbourhood.

Did you go to art/craft classes to learn these?

C: No, I never went to classes. My dad helped me make gifts for friends and relatives. I explored my interests by making these gifts.

What is your next project?

I plan to make a hammock. It is a big project with a lot of challenges and I am looking forward to it.

Thank you, Cosmica!

Here is a video of Cosmica working on her project.

-- Hema

Stacking Functions With Trenches

"Stacking Functions" is used in Permaculture to mean that every element in the design performs more than one function. The ideal is to have each element perform as many functions as possible.

One recent example of stacking functions at our farm:

We got some trenches dug for harvesting rain water. Each one was about 30' long, 3' wide and 3' deep. We filled them up with various kinds of bio-mass -- coconut husks, banana trunks, palm shavings, thorny plants, some manure to inoculate the soil with micro-organisms. Adding bio-mass to the trenches increases the absorption of the soil; exposed soil gets parched and can't absorb much rain water.

As we were wondering how we can "stack functions" using these trenches, we discovered three ways of doing so.

1. Growing area for tubers:
Locally grown betel-nut-leaf tuber needs a 3' deep pit, since each one can grow into a whopping 5 kg. Our trenches thus offered the perfect place to grow these tubers. The bio-mass in the trenches were decomposing for three months when we planted the sprouted tubers. They were planted when the monsoon season had just begun, in July. The trenches harvested the monsoon rains, growing these tubers. We had the (aggressive) tuber-vines climb on a make-shift trellis made by erecting huge dead branches. Last week we harvested 12 kg of tubers. It was very gratifying to realize that we never had watered them;  all we did was to plant them at the right time in the right place. This tuber is starchy like any other; it has a more complex flavor than potato. They can be stored up to one year. Local people have taught us a few ways of cooking these. We look forward to growing them again this year.

2. Trellis and Wind Break:
We had put up a make-shift trellis adjoining the rainwater-harvesting-tuber trenches. We wanted to grow some fast-growing trees that would serve this purpose in the years to come and also provide a wind break. We planted Gliricidia sepium to help with both these objectives. The cuttings were thick and fat and at least 4' long. Even though we never watered them, they are thriving beautifully. Thanks to the work done by the trenches. By next season they will be ready to host the betel-nut-tuber vine.

3. Slow-decompostion of thorny trees:
We have a lot of thorny Acacia spp. trees. We started clearing one patch and piled all the thorny branches and trunks into the nearby RWH trench. This mound of thorns piled in the trench is well above ground now. Once the termites take over it will slowly collapse and add fertility to the trench. We will plant trees close to this trench in the next season.

Here I have documented another way of using thorny plants.

- Hema

Learning By Doing (Part I) - Dori's Cakes

Often I run into people who are curious about kids that don't go to school. They want to know about these children's lives, skill-set, interests, aspirations and future. This made me realize the need for a collection of profiles of some homeschooling children. In this "Learning By Doing" series, I plan to feature such children who are learning and honing their skills and thriving in their lives.

I recently interviewed Dori. She lives in Gurgaon with her twin younger siblings and parents. It is a typical middle class setup with all the constraints and opportunities of urban living. Dori has been a home-baker for a few years now. Here is her interview, translated from Hindi:

How old are you, Dori?

D: I will turn 13 this March.

How long have you been homeschooling?

D: I never went to school, except for six months when I was very small.

I know you like to bake. When and how did you get into baking?

D: I always liked to hang out with my mom while she cooked. When I was around eight, I used to watch cooking shows on TV. There were shows on baking. Since my mom never baked, I didn't have any idea about baking. But I was quite fascinated by it and I wanted an oven. My mom wasn't sure if we would really be using it enough to justify the expense involved. For about a year there were a lot of discussions at home to evaluate all the relevant perspectives. Finally when I was nine, we bought an oven. I watched some videos on youtube that helped me get started.

How was your initial baking experience?
D: I made dry cakes (with no icing) for family and friends for over a year. Then one of our friends suggested that I learn how to decorate cakes. This deeply interested me. She wanted to pay me for a special order of their anniversary cake. I was particular about not joining classes for kids because I didn't find them to be useful earlier. So my mom helped me join the baking classes that were meant for adults.  After sometime I felt the need for a mentor. Through my mom's contacts I got introduced to a home-baker, Arbuda.  I asked my mom if I could learn from her. So I lived at her place for a few days. I saw how she was working on different kinds of orders and how efficiently she was managing everything.  After I came back home I put into practice what I had learned. When I ran into difficulties that baffled me I always called Arbuda aunty and asked for help. And she would help me with tips, fixes and ideas. She is now a professional baker, running a bakery in Noida. 

What else do you bake?

D: I bake breads too. Initially I couldn't find the right kind of yeast. My dough didn't rise at all. Then I stopped baking breads for a few months. Later I went to some bread-baking classes. There I saw what kind of yeast they were using, how they were using it etc. After developing an understanding about this, I started baking again. Slowly I gained confidence in myself. Now I bake pizza bases, pav buns, muffins and cookies.

Typically who do you get orders from?

D: At first it was from my friends. Then it was from my friends' neighbours.

Have you got orders from people who you don't know?

D: Yes, I have baked for people not known to us. During diwali I got orders for 50 boxes of chocolates. These are special chocolates made during the festival using compound chocolate; they are shaped and wrapped to look just like diwali crackers and fireworks. They sold very well. We actually delivered some of those boxes by courier service, to customers who were not known to us.

What kind of specifications do people have when then place a cake order?

D: They tell me what kind of cake they want. Sometimes they specify a theme, for example doll or hawaiian or cosmetics theme. Preparing for their theme takes me about a week. I design the decorations, make cut-outs and practice. Everyday I work a little bit on the theme.

Can you compare the price of your cakes to the ones sold in the market?

D: My basic 1/2kg cake is Rs. 280. Market prices vary from Rs.300 to Rs.350 for a similar one. Theme cakes are expensive. I calculate the customization cost after baking, based on the expenses incurred. 

Did you study the market prices before arriving at yours?

D: Yes, I studied the market prices with my mom. Market study helped me understand the various factors involved in pricing a product -- ingredients, energy, transportation, labour, packaging. My mom explained to me why certain cakes were priced high. I don't like pricing my cakes high, I keep them on the lower side. Once I saw a theme-cake in the market that was just like one of my cakes. Its price was Rs. 1600 whereas ours was for Rs. 1400. If we plan to have a stall at an event, we study the demographics of the place in advance and adjust our prices accordingly. I also learned about the whole sale market and the enormous difference in prices between whole sale and retail markets.

How many cake orders do you receive in a month?

D: Three or four. I can't take more orders.

Have you had any orders for bread yet?

D: No. I am not there yet. Currently I bake breads only for our family.

Do you have a wide range of baking tools and implements?
D: I have many of the basic tools that are needed -- spatula, brush, electric beater, muffin tray, turn table, serrated knives, mold, fondant cutter. We bought them one at a time from my second baking year onward, whenever there was a pressing need. Sometimes I don't have the right tool to work on a certain aspect of a theme. I then prepare a cut-out using a make-shift, improvised tool. We don't always resort to buying because of the expense involved.

I would like to hear your thoughts on the health implications of baked products, a lot of them being sweet. 
D: When I was very young, I used to have a lot of cake at parties. I didn't pay any heed to my mom's advice on health. That changed when I started baking; since I knew exactly what and how much went into making a cake I didn't want to eat it.  Basically there was too much maida, oil and sugar. I realized that that was not healthy for me.  This realization has urged me in to looking at healthier alternatives in baking.

What have you learned about the food industry so far?
- I now know that the cakes in the market contain emulsifiers, preservatives, stabilizers and artificial flavours. But good cakes can be baked without any of these. 
- Traditionally cream meant butter cream. This is expensive. Now low-cost non-dairy whipping cream is widely used in the food industry; this cream has oil or soya bean and has longer shelf-life compared to butter.
- Regarding breads, I came to know that "healthy" breads, like whole wheat bread, contained bread-improver (for longer shelf-life), extra gluten and caramel sauce (for colour). There was nothing really healthy about the "healthy" breads in the market.
- Regarding chocolates, I learned that there are two kinds -- compound and coverture. Compound chocolate contains vegetable oil and cocoa butter; it is easy to use this chocolate in baking recipes in warmer places like India. Also this is cheaper than coverture chocolate. Coverture chocolate contains only cocoa butter and thus it is quite expensive. Typically all the chocolates that we find in India are compound chocolates.

Suppose a new baking experiment failed twice or thrice in a row. What do you do then?

D: Sometimes I just try again. At other times I get disappointed. At times my mom helps me understand what went wrong. Then I make some changes and try the recipe again. Sometimes I abandon that project, take up something entirely different and come back to it after a break.

Can you tell me about some challenges that you faced while baking, in these four years?

D: Whipping cream and fondant behave differently during each season due to temperature and humidity. During the rainy season when Delhi's humidity is very high, working with icing becomes increasingly difficult without running an air conditioner at home. These were practical problems. When I talked to other bakers they said that we needed to have an AC. But we didn't want to get an AC just for this purpose. I have now learned to alternate between refrigerating the icing and working with it in a very swift manner. 

Putting a price tag on my creation is another challenge. I am worried if it is priced right and not too high. I also wonder about the authenticity of the compliments and feedback I receive -- if people  praise my work because I am a kid.
My cakes are egg-less. Given this self-imposed constraint, it took me a long period and countless attempts to achieve the moisture, softness and spongy texture that are characteristic of market cakes.

What are your thoughts about formal studies?

D: I will take my class X exams and not anything before that.

What else do you do?

D: I play football with my friends and I go to football classes. I like quilling. I make birthday cards, ear rings or necklaces using quilling. I like cooking millets, momos and noodles. I have also taught some baking classes in an alternative school. Sometimes I volunteer at a restaurant run by another homeschooling mom, Shruti. She introduced me to food photography, which is my current interest. She has been of tremendous support to me whenever I have wanted to cook something new or different.

What else would you like to take up in the future?

D: I want to make  my own fondants to sculpt my cakes; I use ready-made fondants now. I want to do a lot of other things too. I want to be a teacher. I am very interested in kitchen gardening and composting. There is talk in our apartment complex to implement community composting. I am actively involved in this along with three other kids. We are looking for volunteers and contacts to learn  about low-cost community composting models.

Thank you, Dori!

Some of Dori's creations:

An Evolving Polyculture

"Burn this ghastly pile of thorny plants". We repeatedly heard this from the local people and farm workers when we had uprooted a lot of thorny shrubs and trees. The pile was about 7' tall and 20' wide. We didn't have the heart to waste that much biomass, much less to produce so much heat and smoke.

"The problem IS the solution" says Bill Mollison, co-founder of Permaculture. With this thought in mind I searched through Mollison's Design Manual. I found the south east Asian design of Palm circles useful and appropriate. Here is how we customized it:

We dug a shallow, circular trench around the thorny pile and mounded the soil (from the trench) on the outer side. We planted 8 coconut saplings around this trench. This formed a circle of 27' diameter. The coconuts were about 10' apart. These were interspersed with banana and papaya. We once grew a small crop of peanuts on the berm. We are now growing pumpkins there.

After three years, this circle and the area around it has become home to all these volunteers:

wild passion flower (creeper covering the thorny pile),

Crotalaria juncea (Indian hemp or sunn hemp),

Clitoria ternatea (creeper with beautiful blue or white flowers),

Crotalaria striata (leguminous shrub with lot of yellow flowers) ,

Calotropis gigantea,

Dodonaea viscosa (shrub),

Holy Basil (Indian Tulsi),

Thai Basil,

Wild Tulsi,

Medicinal herbs,

Rosella (gongura),

Tridax procumbens (ground cover),

lemon grass.

These plants together with the ones we planted (i.e. coconut, banana and papaya) have created a small paradise that attracts a lot of butterflies, birds and bees. The vines keep the thorny pile under a perennial green cover, thus helping with moisture retention and decomposition. Thanks to mainly the indefatigable termites, the colossal thorny pile has shrunk to a mere 2'  mound. A scoop of the soil from underneath the pile now features a beautiful biomass-rich crumb. And all this newly created fertility is slowly oozed out to the plant circle.

A portion of the circle showing Coconut, Bananas and Papaya

The decomposing thorny pile with passion flower smothering it

Aerial view of the circle

According to Bill Mollison, as the coconuts grow the fallen coconut fronds are piled up in the center. This reduces labor when compared to conventional grid-style coconut groves. The pile in the center thus becomes the reservoir of nutrition and moisture. 

The circle is always under mulch with the banana suckers we remove periodically. We once used wasted cardboard to mulch the berm. This brought in a lot of termite activity that enriched the soil.

Initially we flood irrigated the circular trench once in a few days. Now we have laid a drip line. The perennial mulch and drip irrigation put together brings down watering significantly. This circle has gone without water for weeks in a row. The bananas and papayas from this circle are healthy and tasty. We are waiting to see how the coconuts do.

Light And Dark Matters

A few years ago, a disturbing realization came upon me and it was:

Homo sapiens is the only diurnal species that carries out normal daytime activities after sunset.

The discord created by this realization led me to understanding the health implications of altering our environment to suit our ever-changing comfort levels; and also to making changes in our lives to realign ourselves with natural cycles. In this blog post I will write about this journey. The only environmental factor I take into consideration here is light.

According to archaeological records, Homo sapiens started walking the earth nearly 200,000 years ago. We are still biologically the same as those initial men and women. But ever since the advent of artificial lighting, human race doesn't experience natural light and darkness the way it did for thousands of years. 

Thoughts and questions such as these bothered me deeply -- Artificial lighting is hardly a century old technology. What is a century or a few in geological time scales? Not even an insignificant blip! How can our evolutionary needs for light and darkness change in that short amount of time? Won't human body's mechanisms, that have evolved to take in natural light and darkness as their cues, go awry because of our modern ways of living? Natural light and darkness are free for everyone. But still how many actually meet the human body's requirement for these? I moaned for the terrible loss of natural light and darkness from most people's lives. 

First, some science: The color components of visible light include violet, blue, green, yellow, orange and red. White light is a mixture of all these lights. So is the visible light component of sunlight. The blue component of the visible light spectrum is known to wake us up and keep us on our toes by secreting a hormone called cortisol. Following the natural cycle of the sun, as the day wanes so should cortisol production. As the sun sets, in response to darkness a hormone called melatonin gets secreted. This hormone plays a key role in regulating our sleep. This beautiful dance between cortisol and melatonin maintains the day-night cycle and circadian rhythms.

Sleep-wake cycle from Dr. Eliza Klearman's website:

Now let us see how modern ways of living cause disruptions to this optimal cycle. Most of our houses are not built to let much sunlight in. Most people don't get exposed to sunlight in the early morning hours. Also because of being indoors at work or school, there is never enough exposure to sunlight during the day. But there is plenty of exposure to light in the evening hours when our bodies (evolutionarily) can't handle it. Now with the devices we suddenly have bright blue light in our lives in the evening when there used to be moonlight or darkness, just a few decades ago. This delays (may also inhibit) the onset of melatonin production and causes sleep disruption among many other problems. 

A little bit of anatomy: Human eye has two kinds of photoreceptor cells -- rods and cones. Rods are responsible for vision at low light levels and cones function when there is bright light. 

Human settlements now have well-lit homes, roads, public transport and indoor spaces. I was curious to know what happens to rod cells when there is no dim light at all for many years. I couldn't find any pat answer online. My guess is that the rod cells lose their efficacy since they haven't been used. I have seen the difference in night vision between city folks (used to a lot of artificial lights in the evening) and village folks. In the absence of a bright light in the night, the former can't navigate even in their own apartments; a dim light or darkness just doesn't work for them. Village folks on the other hand are undeterred by darkness outdoors and are confident about their unaided night vision.

All this understanding helped us realize that many conscious choices had to be made to realign ourselves to our evolutionary needs. We now live on a farm where we are outdoor a lot during the morning hours, soaking in a lot of sunlight. In the evening hours we have only warm-yellow LED lights (max 3w) lighting our indoors. The blue component of these lights are insignificant. Dev has a pair of blue light blocking glasses which he uses when needed. We have installed a blue light filter software on our computer. In the night, while sleeping, we have no artificial light indoor or outdoor. 

If you are interested in exploring this subject further, here are some pointers:

Dr. Satchin Panda on the importance of darkness

https://www.darksky.org/

Harvard University's research on blue light and sleep

Dyeing & Dying

Even in a village like ours, these days it is hard to find middle-aged or elderly people with grey hair. Pretty much everyone dye their hair jet black. For a few decades now, this has been the norm in cities.  Acceptance of the natural process of aging is fast getting obliterated. When we fail to accept our own aging, we are likely to fail to accept the aging of our loved ones. We are likely to hold on to people who should have long been gone. To elaborate on this, I would like to bring up a personal example.

For several years, Dev’s dad (papa) was severely diabetic. When he was over 70, he was diagnosed of (advanced stage) Parkinson’s.  Later he broke his pelvis which restricted his movement further. Being far away in California, we felt that the only help we could extend was to employ a caregiver. This lessened the burden on Dev’s mom during the day. She still had to care for papa in the night. This was slowly taking a toll on her health, since she couldn’t ever get a good night’s sleep.    

When we moved to India in 2012, we stayed with Dev’s parents.  That was when we realized the futility behind what was happening there. Papa’s life was being extended by prolonging his dying.

His face was absolutely expressionless. He had very little flesh on his bones. He could hardly move, eat or talk. He needed assistance with everything. We could smell the decaying bed sores.

This left us wondering about life, “What’s all this medical care for? For keeping a dying man in bed a bit longer? How do poor people deal with such situations?” Also we strongly felt the need to reassess the situation by looking at it from papa’s perspective.

We initiated a conversation with Dev’s mom to understand what was keeping her going. We came to know that she was not given the full picture of papa’s illness. She didn’t really know how bleak the situation was. We slowly and carefully divulged the medical info that we had access to. We wanted to gradually decrease all the medicines except pain killers. After an initial period of resistance and reluctance, she followed through.

I wanted to focus on helping papa be happy – however short-lived that was for. I used to sit by his side, sing to him, and once in a while feed him some ice-cream (his absolute favourite). During one such feeding he hurriedly said “Quick! Quick!” and tears started rolling down his sunken cheeks. After a few weeks papa had a brain hemorrhage and was taken to the hospital. He was in coma. Again, we had to make the difficult decision of bringing him home and not prolong his stay in the hospital.  At home papa was hooked up to an oxygen cylinder. In a few days, with some of us next to him he passed away.

I see certain aspects of this narrative getting repeated in so many cases, among our friends and relatives. I see people wanting to hang on to the lives of dying ones too dearly. Our modern culture lacks mindfulness of death. Tibetan Buddhism, on the other hand, focuses a great deal on death. 

Here is an interesting article on "Death and dying in Tibetan Buddhism" from Frontline, PBS.

-- Hema

Helplessness -- actively taught and learned

Here in this post I plan to address a key issue with modern day parenting in affluent families, whereby the kids are actively taught to be helpless.

First I will cite some scenarios from our village:

Cheenu, a four year old boy, accompanied his dad who was a labourer working on our house foundation. Any middle or upper class parent would find the construction site to be full of hazards for a child of his age -- foundation trenches, big stone piles, people hand-carrying big stones etc. Obviously, Cheenu's dad didn't think so; neither could he afford to. His family situation was such that Cheenu had to be brought to work if he is off from school. Though it was a hot day (38 deg C),  Cheenu was as cheerful in this site as you would find a small child playing in a park. After sticking with his dad initially, he started mimicking what the other adults were doing -- which was to hand-carry stones. He took his job seriously. He carried stones that were big for him and wouldn't pick up anything that was not challenging. I was feeling sorry for this child and tried offering him smaller stones. He simply ignored me and continued working. I understood much later the condescending nature of my behaviour towards Cheenu and his work. And since Cheenu was not conditioned yet, his response towards me was authentic even if it would be considered rude or impolite.

Shephards' kids (less than ten years of age) carry a sharp billhook, climb a tree, lop branches and haul them home to feed their cattle. This is part of their daily routine. They learn to use this sharp tool, manuver their way up the tree with the tool tucked into their pants on the rear side. Girls learn to cook on wood-burning stoves from the age of eight or so. It is not considered particularly dangerous. It is not uncommon to find little girls cook a meal for the entire family. These kids also go to school. Young kids are indispensable contributors in such families. 

Now, I will compare and contrast the above situations with "normal" middle or upper class families.

Barring a few exceptions, these children are overprotected. They typically don't get involved in household chores and hardly get a chance to use the fire or tools. They are assisted by the adults almost always and they are not expected to take on responsibilities.

Here are some excerpts from some of our interactions with affluent visitors from the city:

- This family came with their eight year old boy. I suggested to my kids to take their new friend to get milk from our milk lady. The walk was hardly hundred meters. They had to cross a not-so-busy village road.  The mom immediately intervened saying, "Oh, my son shouldn't go. He doesn't know how to walk on roads. He will hurt himself in the traffic." Having observed this eight year old for a day, I didn't think that the mom's statement was true.  Nevertheless we dropped the idea.

- This child was seven years old. I had made some boiled eggs for lunch. At the table, he was watching my kids eat their egg and was waiting for one of his parents to show up and peel one for him. When Abhi suggested that he can try to do it himself, he was quite surprised. Apparently this suggestion was never made before at his home! With a bit of help, he happily peeled the egg and ate it.

- This time it was a ten year old girl. Knowing that pomegranate was one of her favourites,  I offered one to her. With a perplexed look she said, "but I have never peeled a pomegranate before. can you please peel it for me?"  We helped her with the process and noticed that she was happy to do things for herself.

Now, my musings about this:
Time and again I have seen that small kids have a strong desire to participate in the adult world by doing what the adults are doing. Although they initially resist the conditioning to give up independence, they eventually do become helpless. Kids that are expected to be helpless are likely to grow up into adults with the same attitude. We once had a twenty-five year old visitor who couldn't wash his plate or glass since he didn't know how to use a scrubber!

In hunter-gatherer societies, kids get involved in real life. They start using knives and other tools from a very young age.  There are many examples of this in the book "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff. Evolutionarily speaking, it must have been very important for little children to learn life skills and become useful and independent. If not, he or she would be a burden on the migrating tribe.

Repeatedly I see evidences to conclude that children meet the expectations, whatever they may be, of the adults around them. Here is another post I wrote earlier on this topic.

-- Hema